Then, When?
by me malum
Summary: Iruka seeks out Kakashi for a conversation, and to apologise. Kakashi had already forgotten; the incident was hardly life-changing, after all.


Okay, so this turned out nothing like what I planned.

General spoilers warning. Disclaimer: I don't own _Naruto_, associated works, or _Animal I Have Become _by Three Days Grace, that provided the basic inspiration for this.

Canon compliant-ish. First foray into _Naruto_ fanfiction- let me know what you think?

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-*-

Kakashi blinked in surprise at his night time visitor. "Umino-san?" He rubbed his eye wearily and stood aside. "I'm not even going to ask; just get in." The sooner he dealt with his disturbance, the sooner he'd be back in bed.

The chuunin shook his head. "No, I won't be staying long; I only came to apologise, really. For our- argument- last week."

The argument in question took some seconds to come to mind. Finally, the image of this chuunin yelling at him over the upcoming exams surfaces from his memories. Kakashi cocked his head. "You felt the need to apologise at-" he checked his internal body-clock- "eleven-twenty one in the middle of the night?" _Over something I've already forgotten about_, was the implied subtext, and he hoped the schoolteacher could pick up on it.

Iruka blushed and shifted his weight to his other foot. "Erm, yeah, you see-"

"Umino-san, how about we do this in the morning? Say at ten?" It hadn't yet come to it, but Kakashi was tired and not above begging when his sleep was on the line.

The teacher raised an eyebrow, and some of the anger that caused the situation began to show. "By which you mean, of course, tomorrow afternoon, probably around three?"

Kakashi curved his eye into one of his famous smiles. "Wonderful! I'll see you then." He began to close the door.

Iruka's arm shot out and prevented him from shutting it. He bit his lip, glanced skywards as if seeking divine help, before staring dead on at Kakashi and reciting softly, "_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_."

Kakashi froze at the words, instantly recognising them, and growled softly. "You had _no_ right," he managed to force out.

"It wasn't like I meant to!" Iruka burst out. "I overheard you as I arrived. You aren't the only one who has precious names on the Memorial Stone, you know." He glanced down at the doormat. "So I heard, and... I was worried." He couldn't meet the Copy Nin's eye again.

Kakashi bit down hard on the laughter that threatened to escape his throat. When he thought he'd regained control, he grabbed the chuunin's chin, making the teacher face him.

"Did it really take you the first part of the night to work up the courage to talk to me, sensei?" His mind had already worked out the likely scenarios. He knew his voice had a thread of dark humour in it, and didn't try too hard to hide it. "You heard _the last part _of what I said. And what? You think you understand, that you can help, that we share some sort of connection forged by petty arguments, an overheard quote and a student in common?" He snorted in derision.

Iruka wrenched his chin away, his eyes reflecting shock, and pity. "That's not what I meant," he said softly. "Not what I meant at all."

"Then _what_?" Kakashi spat at him, clenching his fists. "What did you mean?"

Iruka shook his head. "I thought... if you ever wanted to talk..." Sadness showed on every line on his face. "But if you need me to explain, I don't think anything will be able to help you." The chuunin went to leave, but stopped when Kakashi let out a bored sigh.

The Copy Nin wasn't feeling moved, or saddened, or even angry. Emotions, as he'd told Obito that morning, were wasted on him, used simply to gain reactions from those around him.

"It was meant to be a private message, but I don't want you getting any wrong ideas, sensei."

He spoke flatly. Iruka shivered.

"If you'd listened from the beginning, it would have gone something like, _So what if you could see the darker side of me?_ If you'd looked it up, you would have found it was a part of a longer piece echoing rather the same sentiments." He paused. "And if you'd never come to see me, and instead resolved to forget about it, you'd never have to wonder about how broken I seem to you." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But _don't_ worry, sensei. You seem to do it so much, I might start wondering myself- if you'll in fact be the one to break under the strain." His eye curved upwards. "Wouldn't _that_ be ironic?"

He closed the door on the silenced chuunin and considered his words in the quiet. "Wouldn't it just?" He murmured, and returned to bed.

-*-

At three o'clock the next afternoon, Iruka Umino set out to the Memorial Stone on a hunch. When he saw the grey-haired figure standing alone (and knew that this time, he'd been noticed himself), he figured he'd been correct in his thinking.

"_Nothing will ever change this animal I have become_," he said slowly. "But what happened to, _Help me believe it's not the real me_? Don't you think that's what the song's really about, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi stretched out a hand and traced one name on the monument. "Belief died some years ago now, Umino-san," he replied.

Iruka nodded and exhaled heavily. "But I shouldn't worry, right? Because Konoha's Copy Nin is no more broken than he was when he gained his notoriety. We shouldn't worry for him now."

Kakashi clicked his tongue. "And thus a teacher is taught."

"It's just a pity he was broken so long before then, isn't it Kakashi?"

Kakashi turned to face the chuunin finally. Iruka gasped, meeting both eyes, grey and Sharingan. "Isn't it just, sensei?" He laughed and pulled his hitae-ate back down, covering the red iris.

"_Isn't it just great? Come on, Kakashi, show_ _us __how! Sensei, make him show us!"_

_A laughing blonde. A smiling girl. A hyperactive brat._

_A teenager rolling his eyes. "I doubt _you_ could be taught."_

Kakashi closed his eyes against the memory. He opened them when he sensed the schoolteacher had left, and turned back to the _Uchiha Obito_ engraved on the stone. He'd broken Kakashi's nose for that comment, before their sensei had broken up the ensuing fight.

_Broken- when?_

"You had more to teach than be taught, didn't you?" He said wryly. Kakashi snorted, shook his head, and justsued away.

_Who could believe it would've changed anything?_

-*-


End file.
